Another Beautiful Week

I got my wish and attended a beautiful 6 lb 3 oz baby girl coming into the world the day after Christmas. It was an amazing birth with a very strong and resilient mama. She pushed for over three hours and it definitely renewed my spirit.

An amazing opportunity has presented itself to me and after talking to my family and tossing our schedules around in my head a bit, I have decided that I'm going to spend the month of May at the clinic in Tennessee on a short-term apprenticeship. The plan was initially that I would be going down for an advanced skills workshop the last weekend of April, but after getting the offer for the apprenticeship, I'll be staying from that weekend until sometime at the end of May. Luckily the clinic has a spare bedroom, so housing is incredibly affordable. The most expensive portion of the trip will be my travel expenses down there! It truly is a fabulous opportunity. And I think it is something that I may really need.

Unfortunately, I am not sure how things are working out with *M*. I have attended two prenatal appointments with her, but the most recent one was nearly three weeks ago. I was scheduled to go with her to a third, but she has been very ill with pneumonia. The mama that she has been letting me attend with is due to delivery in the first part of January, and I haven't heard from her in three weeks. I absolutely do not want to burden her at all, especially since she has been so sick. So, I'm starting to wonder if this is just a good opportunity to get to observe some births and help out a fellow birthworker, but not the long-term mentorship that I was hoping. We will see, however. I'm not going to throw the baby out with the bathwater quite yet.

But I do feel like by taking on this short-term apprenticeship in Tennessee, I am again adding to my "birth resume" and making myself an even more favorable candidate for any apprenticeship that should come up in the area, especially considering how terribly competitive this area can be for apprenticeships. It all leads me down the same path, but it is definitely better if I can prepare and make myself more competitive when a preceptor does become available.

The World Can Be So Strange

The day before I was supposed to meet with the midwife about apprenticing, I called her to confirm our appointment. She was very sweet on the phone, but unfortunately, informed me that she had changed her mind. There are a lot of women in this area looking for apprenticeships and she felt that it was unfair to them to offer one to someone who had been studying for less time than they had. I understand that completely, even if I was a bit disappointed. I felt rather stupid on the telephone though after she told me that, and stammered my way through the rest of the conversation. It probably was not the most articulate moment of my life.

I was pretty sad to tell you the truth. In that moment, it seemed as though the only two paths that had been presented to me were blocked. The first midwife I had met with had been out of contact, and now the second one was not interested in working with me. I have to admit that I shed a couple of tears in that first ten minutes after hanging up my phone.

Then I set out to be proactive. I wrote an email to midwife #1, who from now on will be known as *M*. I told her in detail about the workshop in Tennessee and everything I had learned and how rejuvenated I felt by the experience. I asked again about attending births with her, even if it was just as an assistant. I told her I was willing to do anything just to get my foot in the door.

Within a half an hour, she responded back! My timing was perfect. She had spoke with a couple about me and they were interested in having me at their birth as an extra support. She had a prenatal appointment schedule with them for later in the week and asked if I could come with.

WOW. If that is not the world trying to tell me that this was meant to be, I don't know what it was!

*M* has communicated that she does not feel ready to take on an actual "teaching relationship" at this point, but that having me attend births and appointments as a support to her and families would be helpful.

I attended and observed my first prenatal last week. And it was so wonderful. And regardless of the official definition of my relationship with *M*, I learned a lot just from that one meeting. Watching her interact with the mom and dad taught me SO much about interacting with families. When we walked out we talked briefly about some of the unsaid communication that was presented (body language, etc) and I realized that I had so much to learn about just simple observation.

I can absolutely see myself doing this for the rest of my life. In fact, it is the only thing I can see myself doing.