Still not an apprentice

*sigh* I got the email this morning that the midwife went with someone else.  So, I'm still without an apprenticeship.  And completely and totally sad. 

There are all the arguments; "this was obviously not meant to be", "it wasn't the right apprenticeship for you," "it wasn't the right time".  And I agree.  Those things are probably true.  In fact, I know they are true.

But for today, I am just sad. 

A lesson in patience

Thus far along my path to becoming a midwife, I have found that most things are a lesson in patience.  There was the waiting until The Boy was old enough for me to start my education.  There was the waiting for the right time to enroll in a program.  There was the waiting to find out if I was accepted to Midwives College of Utah.  And now there is the waiting to find out if I am going to be apprenticing with the midwife I met with at the beginning of June.  It's all about patience.

Thankfully, it is a lesson that I am learning to handle fairly well.  Though I definitely have a lot of anticipation, it is a fun anticipation and I'm trying to learn to enjoy it.  The only concern I have is that there is one more apprenticeship at the new birth center that has opened up in our area that I would like to apply for if this one doesn't come through.  And I'm worried that the timing is not going to work out right and I will end up without either one. I want to work with the solo practice midwife, but would learn a lot from either. 

But I will just keep soaking up the lessons I am learning.  God knows that birth doesn't come when it is most convenient to us either!

In other news....

Have I told you about my A average this semester?  Yes, I know.

I rock.

Detoxification and midterms

In my journey to become a midwife....heck, at this point, to become a student midwife, I have been thinking so much about my own physical health and the things that I need to do to prepare myself to be strong and able to serve women in the best possible way.  And I've come to the realization that I have been treating my body like a toxic dumping ground for the last 15 years.  High fructose corn syrups, processed flours, unnatural additives and preservatives, chemical laden junk have been flooding my body.  It's gotta change.  But I really have no idea how to begin.  So, I guess I just have to start. 

I've been pounding water over the last few days trying to give myself a good base to work with.  I have no idea really what I'm going to do or how I'm going to do it.  I just know at my core that I need to start giving my body a solid foundation to work from, instead of working so hard to sabotage myself. 

3 weeks down....So many to go.

The last few weeks have been so full of so much LIFE!  I fall into bed almost every single night, exhausted and overwhelmed, but so very fulfilled. This last week, I spend the majority of my time doing NON-midwifery things, because it was time for me to celebrate my anniversary with my wonderful and amazing partner. We had a fabulous week, including the most amazing fondue dinner and a weekend of nothing but sloth and gluttony.

But now it is back to reality, and studying microbiology and refreshing my brain on APA formatting. I know it's not that big of a deal, but I'm managing to maintain an A in all two courses after 3 weeks, and the third one hasn't had any assignments, so I guess that counts as an A, too. (Or I'm going to pretend it does, at least.)

And I've LEARNED something*.  It's a small thing and I'm sure I already knew it somewhere or had I really thought it out it would have come to me, but reading it in black and white really solidified it for me.

I was looking over my course plan for the next year and I'm a bit disappointed because I realized that I don't have any courses that  are directly related to midwifery until January when I get to take Well-Woman Care. I'm really going to do something about that.  I've been looking into a skills workshop in September.  It's in Massachusetts, but they offer on site camping. So, really if I can transport out there....But then again, there is also the fall MCU conference in October.....

I'll have to put it out there and start dreaming of Fall weather and workshops/conferences.....


*Dehydration=cells transferring water from external to internal via osmosis to try to reach homeostasis

Five days left!

I swear that logically I know that this first semester of school is really just a first semester of school, completely with the boredom and frustration that come along with a communication class and an anatomy class.  But I still just can't help but be so very excited to get started!  It seems like once a day or so I get an email from someone at the MCU office and I just about burst with excitement, like they're writing to tell me that just for me they're going to start the semester early. *giggle*  (Oh, that's hilarious, because if you know me at all, I am NOT a giggler.  I laugh or cackle.  Loudly. No polite little giggles for this amazon!)  I'm just so excited that I'm tittering with anticipation. Maybe I need to spend some time thinking about organizing my time and school work. That might kill the next five days.

This weekend I am getting blessed with two beautiful pieces of furniture!  First a desk, which I have needed for a long time but really need now that school is starting. I need somewhere to be able to call home base for studying.  And our lovely friend Emily has generously offered me the desk she'll no longer be using when she begins cohabitating on June 1.  And then shortly after receiving the offer of a desk, I caught wind via Facebook that Julia's parents were looking for a new home for their solid wood hutch.  YES, please!  It's cabinets on the lower half, glass and wood doors on the upper.  It's beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!  It's going to be the ideal location for my "library" and supplies. We're picking up my desk on Friday and my new hutch on Saturday, and I'm absolutely sure I will post pictures of them very soon. 

Patience is golden

These last three weeks before classes begin might just cause me to explode with excitement. I spend every day looking at my class schedule for this fall and searching the internet for deals on textbooks.  This first semester will be fairly relaxed.

New Student Orientation (which is a class that will take around 12 hours total)
Anatomy for Health Professionals
Communciations skills


The text books for the communications course are both available from my local library system on NetLibrary. To say this least, this thrills me to no end.  It's not that they aren't good books or that the topic isn't important. I just do not want to spend money on books that won't become a permenant part of my library. What can I say, I'm cheap?

But textbooks don't look nearly as bad as I thought they would. In fact, my entire year of books between now and next spring semester will be less than $300.  I remember spending more than that on one quarter of books when I got my EC Spec Ed degree. Not that I will stop looking for good deals on those books. I think I'm going to make it a goal to get the total down to less than $250.

I've also found a study group here in Minneapolis, which thrills me to no end.  I know of a fantastic new midwife who is hosting one monthly at her home, but it is an hour drive from my house and usually held on a week night, which makes it difficult to get to. 

Little do folks know, I'm an incredibly shy person with a not-so-small amount of social anxiety.  So, now the challenge will be to actually convince myself to attend the group.